Notice the pattern before you respond
Most teams need some flexibility. A colleague may need cover during an absence, a difficult week or an unexpected deadline. The problem is different when you are regularly taking on tasks that belong to someone else and your own work is being squeezed. You do not need to decide whether the colleague is lazy or genuinely struggling to address the effect on your workload.
Before the next request, get specific about what has been happening. Which tasks have you covered? How often are you asked? What happens to your deadlines when you say yes? Keep a simple, factual note if the requests are frequent. This helps you describe a workload issue rather than make a judgment about the person. It may also reveal whether a manager has actually assigned you the work, or whether you have been agreeing to informal requests that no one else sees.
Decide what help you can reasonably offer
A boundary is easier to communicate when you know what it is. You might be willing to answer a quick question but not complete a whole task. You might be able to help during a genuine one-off emergency but not provide routine cover. Check your existing commitments before replying, including work that is less visible but still important. Being capable of doing a task does not automatically mean you have the time or responsibility to take it on.
If the request comes during a busy period, pause instead of agreeing immediately. You can say, “I need to check my priorities before I can commit.” This gives you room to assess the work without making a promise you may have to undo. If your roles overlap or priorities are unclear, ask your manager which work should come first rather than trying to absorb everything.
Give a clear answer without a long defense
When you cannot cover the task, a short answer is often enough: “I can’t take that on today; I need to finish the report I’m responsible for.” If you can offer limited help, name its limit: “I can walk you through the first step for ten minutes, but I can’t complete it for you.” A specific answer is kinder and more useful than a vague “maybe” that leaves the colleague expecting you to step in.
You can be warm without negotiating against yourself. Try not to list every reason you are busy or apologize repeatedly for having your own work. If the colleague pushes back, restate the limit calmly: “I understand the deadline is close. I’m still not able to take this on.” You do not have to win an argument about whose workload is harder to be clear about what you can do.
Address repeated requests directly
If individual refusals do not change the pattern, arrange a brief conversation when neither of you is rushing toward a deadline. Focus on the arrangement, not the colleague’s character. For example: “I’ve covered the weekly update several times recently. I can help occasionally when we agree on it in advance, but I can’t be the regular backup while managing my own deadlines.” Then ask what support or handover process they need to handle the task themselves.
Some requests are part of a wider team problem. If everyone is relying on informal cover because responsibilities are unclear, the solution may be a shared plan rather than a private agreement between two colleagues. Suggest clarifying task ownership, backup arrangements and how urgent work gets reassigned. This makes it easier for people to ask for help appropriately without assuming that the most available person will always say yes.
Bring in your manager when priorities need a decision
If the requests continue, affect your performance or involve work your manager needs to allocate, raise the issue as a question of capacity and ownership. Describe the tasks and their impact: “I’ve been asked to cover the weekly update while completing my usual projects. I can’t do both to the expected standard. Which should take priority, and who should own the update going forward?” Avoid guessing at your colleague’s motives; a manager can make a clearer decision with concrete information.
If your manager asks you to provide cover, confirm what should be delayed or handed off so the new priority is realistic. A colleague may also have needs you cannot see, and you do not have to investigate them to manage your own workload. The goal is not to stop being helpful. It is to make help deliberate, visible and sustainable, so your willingness to contribute does not quietly become an unlimited commitment.
